I ended my shift swamped with pangs of melancholy. The feeling was sudden; it took me by surprise. I had not experienced that for quite some time... a most unwelcome surprise....
Normally I would welcome the time when the city became besieged with silence, but there was no calmness I found... no tranquility... no peace. The feeling, if any, left me fightitng back tears while waiting for my bus on the sidewalk.
The wide avenue of Ayala was without its normal 7am frenzy of yuppies and wanna-be's and I found no solace in that. I felt like I was in a cemetery. The ride home took longer than usual because the train I always took was closed for the holy days. Though it tore my mind away from the disturbing onslaught of sadness, the feeling returned as soon as I took off my shoes at the front door.
The restlessness haunted me the whole day and well into the night at work. I still managed to smile when appropriate, laugh at a joke a colleague cracked, but the hollowness remained.
I tried not to wallow in it, but the lack of reason bothered me more.
And for the first time in a long while, I find myself at an impasse.
