it's been a long time... ain't sure if i can still write as before... romancing away a blank page with sweet words and phrases... guess my worst fears have come true... my muse hath abandoned me.

THINK: What is the difference between loving someone and being in love with someone?

Being in love is what romance novels and movies are all about. It’s that euphoric feeling you get when the world stops to turn, your tummy starts to churn and do flip flops, you “hear the music” when he whispers in your ear those three magical words. It is wonderfully exhilarating. It causes you to have the makings of a fool’s smile playing in your lips at the most inopportune times and places, but what the heck do you care, right?

However, being in love is a transient state. I do not have the data right now, but it takes too much of one’s energy to “be in love” -- what more to “stay in love.” In time you hear the farts, you see the parcel of food in between gum lines, your face gets drenched because he splays saliva all over when he eats/speaks – honestly, do you really still “hear the music” at these times?

If you still do, that’s because you made a decision to do so. You decided that you will love him … no matter what … come what may.

You decided to accept him at face value and whatever is hidden underneath that will surface in time. You decided that you will accept and stick with all the eccentricities and shortcomings. That is commitment.

No matter what the Fates may toss to test your “love,” be it Brad Pitt in all his naked glory or Daniel Radcliffe in his unabashed vulnerability, you will have eyes for him and only him. That is fidelity. Loyalty.

When you have wronged him in any way, you are prepared to offer apologies. Also, you are only too willing to forgive and forget if he was the one who screwed up. That is humility.

After all, as much as we enjoy and continually look forward to being “in love,” that is just a phase and will, despite efforts, wane away in time.

To love someone is a conscious decision we choose to make. We love and stay with the other entity as a matter of choice, not chance.

To stay in love, we have to make a conscious effort to love each other even when the romance took a slack in the humdrums of everyday life. We love in silence ... even without hearing the music.

staring blankly ahead
eyes fixed though unfocused
my mind goes a-wandering

i recall the times past
and somehow think to myself
are my actions to be reprimanded

it's just sad and funny at the same time
how unnaturally things fell into place
while underneath all hell awaits to break

this poem i can't make to rhyme
my freezing hands can say no more
will trust to Fate what it brought my path

change, the only constant in life,
come back to taunt me once more
and i resolve to let the waters flow

flow as it will...
where it will...
up to when it will....

i am, after all, a fish riding with the current

This is my oath to myself:

I shall not compromise myself by binding myself to any promise that I shall be duty-bound to keep. Never again.

I shall not ever again lose sleep trying to uphold my honor in granting a favor to a friend, no matter how far back we may go.

I shall never, under the pain of being tortured to death, post something as inane, stupid, senseless, worthless, useless, stupid (I know I said that already) like this.

Never again. Never. Ever.